My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands #{date(Y)}

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands By Chelsea Handler My Horizontal Life A Collection of One Night Stands My Horizontal Life A Collection of One Night Stands
  • Title: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
  • Author: Chelsea Handler
  • ISBN: 9781582346182
  • Page: 437
  • Format: Paperback
  • My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands By Chelsea Handler My Horizontal Life A Collection of One Night Stands
    My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands By Chelsea Handler

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      Chelsea Handler

    About "Chelsea Handler"

    1. Chelsea Handler

      Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment s most sought after and versatile rising stars In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late night talk shows with her E Entertainment series, Chelsea Lately airing weeknights at 11 00 p.m Consistently the network s highest rated program, Chelsea Lately offers a tongue in cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths, and rumors that just won t die, along with other hot topics of the day Bringing refreshing new energy to and redefining perceptions of the talk show, Chelsea Lately is an authentic and hilarious commentary on the celebrity culture around us Both Handler and the show have also been recognized as pioneers in late night with the show boasting five female writers to account for half of its writing staff This is unprecedented in the late night arena that has historically been dominated by male hosts and writers.In addition to her wildly successful television series, Chelsea is equally well known as a best selling author On March 28, 2010, she achieved a spectacular feat when her three books took the 1, 2, and 3 spots on the New York Times Best Seller list Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, from Grand Central Publishing, was the 1 nonfiction hardcover Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelsea, from Simon Spotlight Entertainment, was the 2 nonfiction paperback and My Horizontal Life, from Bloomsbury, was the 3 nonfiction paperback In hardcover, Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelseadebuted at 1 on the New York Times Best Seller list when published in April 2008, and My Horizontal Life has been a bestseller for 80 weeks As a testament to her versatility and tireless work ethic, Chelsea s 21 city comedy tour, also entitled Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and sponsored by Belvedere Vodka, kicked off in March 2010 After tickets sold out immediately, Live Nation added 15 shows As one of the nation s most acclaimed and cutting edge comedians, Handler delivers a sharp combination of fearless honesty, ironic riffs, and self deprecations with no shortage of material.With her roots in both stand up comedy and television, Chelsea was also the star of Oxygen s Girls Behaving Badly now syndicated in over 90 markets for all of its four seasons She also starred on E in The Chelsea Handler Show In 2007 2008, Chelsea starred with Jenny McCarthy and Leah Remini in the hugely popular MSN online web series In The Motherhood.In March 2009, Chelsea was honored the prestigious Ally for Equality Award by the Human Rights Campaign, recognizing the outstanding efforts of those who dedicate time, energy, spirit and whole hearted commitment to better the lives of LGBT people She continues to be an influential and dedicated advocate for the LGBT community.Handler, who grew up in New Jersey, currently resides in Los Angeles.

    818 thoughts on “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”

    1. I couldn t finish this book I found it distasteful, facile and pandering It made my skin crawl Loathsome I m certainly a fan of sex in all its consensual forms, so that part didn t squick me a bit, other than it just wasn t written in a fashion that made me like any of the participants The author blithely trotted out and proudly displayed nearly every flavor of prejudice in the first 80 pages I m bewildered by the apparent popularity of this collection.

    2. I about died reading this book Seriously, I had to put the book down several times because I was crying so hard from laughing I am not normally the type of reader who laughs out loud at what she is reading However, I am thankful that I was home alone for most of this book Having witnesses would have made me appear to be some kind of whack job.I highly recommend this book unless the following things bother you, offend you, or any other type of negative feelings ensue sex, body parts, swearing, of [...]

    3. I watch Chelsea Handler s late night show on tv and the disconnect between her professional young woman look and foul mouthed retelling of her sexual expoits is quite funny and I looked forward to of the same in the book However, the humour lies in her drunken exploits picking up a myriad of men and then her personal insults against them, whether it be their size , personal habits, looks, intelligence or housekeeping ability There are several side characters, all of whom might have been interes [...]

    4. I was embarrassed reading this book in public I was getting a pedicure while reading parts of it and swore the pedicurist had xray vision, could see what I was reading, and subsequently thought I was a huge perv This is supported by the crappy pedicure I recieved Regardless, this book is hilarious A perfect trashy beach read I cannot fathom that parts of it were not embelished for hilarity s sake, but hilarious it was Let this be your guilty, guilty pleasure.

    5. I have never considered myself prudish before but reading these recollections and seeing how little respect Handler had for the men she encountered really depressed me I had hoped that the book would be Fun and Liberating The story of a confident, single woman who took charge of her sexual experiences What a Let Down There were a handful of funny one liners but after reading this book, I found that I really didn t like the author and that her exploits left a bad taste in my mouth

    6. As if I needed help feeling like a nun.Wow Chelsea takes a no holds barred look back at her sex capades There is something in this book to make everyone squirm It fits into the same category as the movies American Pie or Superbad and that category is I must watch them alone so that I have absolutely no witnesses to which obscenities I find most hilarious I want no record of what I laughed at.This was fun to read and quick but I don t think it s for everyone The virtuous girls might be shocked a [...]

    7. OMG This woman kept me laughing, page by page I didn t want to stop reading, but I had to get to work Thank goodness for my rides to and from work in a bus, I get to read rather than pay attention to what s going on on the road People must ve thought I was retarded when they would see me suddenly burst out laughing out loud I got lost in Chelsea s world I can t wait to read her other book You gotta know her and what she s about before reading this or you might think she s too raunchy for humor I [...]

    8. I expected the non PC jokes I expected the brash humour I expected the mean comments I did NOT expect the boredom I was expecting a funny book with descriptions of one night stands What I got was running commentary on being drunk and stupid None of which I had a problem with This book was just fucking boring.

    9. Hilarious, as always Magnificently endowed midgets, an Adonis of a stripper known only as THUNDER, a cruise ship performer her conquests stack up rather quickly and fortunately for the reader nearly always end in tears and or vodka Chelsea is always willing to skewer herself for the cause of a good joke and this book is full of them Definitely not for the easily offended or delicately sensible.

    10. I hope for the sake of the innocent and guilty that the names in this kiss and tell book were changed Actually that should be like have sex with and tell, but that s beside the point.Chelesa Handler s memoir of memorable one night stands is both as racy as you d expect and not nearly as racy as you d like to think Handler s humor is self deprecating and the fact that she finds such an assortment of one night stands is an intersting one The book could definitely be an advertisement for Alcoholic [...]

    11. Sorry yuck I probably would have liked this in my early 20 s now it s just embarrassing Some parts are entertaining but my gut feelings is that it s mostly fabricated or at least exaggerated or stretched for extra content I m still curious to read her other books but this one didn t do it for me A big nope from me On the plus side it was a perfect audiobook for easy entertainment something that didn t require a lot of concentration or brain cells.

    12. I really liked this book Chelsea Handler is hilarious In this book she tells of her many misadventures with alcohol and promiscuity they had a tendency to go together and her crazy family and friends The book starts with a tale about the time Chelsea s oldest sister Sloane dared her to walk in on their parents and take a picture of them having sex for five bucks and ends with Chelsea finally coming to the realization that she is a grown ass woman and that it s time she acted like one, cheers to [...]

    13. Funny Funny Funny, and hopelessly wonderful I couldn t put it down It just kept driving me to read of these hilariously awful experiences How I don t know And Honestly I m not too sure I care Proclaiming that she feels it is important to have sex soon after meeting someone , Chelsea unabashedly hands you her life in a way that could only make the reader feel better about their own, with the wierd twist of truly wishing you had a friend like her in your life And I love her for it.

    14. Chelsea Handler is so freakin funny, I can hardly stand it I wish she would move her drunk, slutty, foul mouthed self to to Wisconsin so that we could become best friends.

    15. Chelsea Handler is a comedienne best known for her show, Chelsea Lately, as well as her previous books Are You There Vodka It s Me, Chelsea and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang She brings her edgy, often profane and hilariously offensive sense of humor to this book, which is a collection of one night stands that she has had in her life Ranging from men to odd fetishes, midgets, and men who can t even rise to the occasion, she brings a unique perspective to the life of a single woman in LA This book is [...]

    16. Listened to this audiobook on a whim today while cleaning my apartment and meh It was funny enough and exactly what I was in the mood for, but it was also just a little too crude for my taste Which tbh is saying something because I rarely if ever get offended by comedy.

    17. I picked up this book for 50 cents at my local library s weekly book sale about two weeks ago I figured what the hell, it s 50 cents and I think Chelsea Handler is rather funny on her E talk show Plus, I need something light anf fluffy to read after reading two very serious books I thought the first 121 pages of this book the rest of the book was okay, but not hilarious like the first half was absolutely hilarious I laughed out loud frequently and read excerpts of the book to my roommate who exc [...]

    18. Loved, loved, loved this book Chelsea really does take things to the extreme and while I read the book I couldn t believe that it was a memoir You could have read the book thinking it was fiction the things that she did were so outrageous If you like Chelsea s humor than this is a book for you Finished it in about a day because I loved it so much.

    19. I am not a night owl, so I rarely catch Chelsea Lately on E however, I am going to have to stop going to bed earlier than a senior citizen and start watching This book is hilarious and crude often disturbing but was very entertaining.Thanks to Ingrid, who passed it on to mewho received it from her friend Rachel.

    20. I laughed on buses and trains and in restaurants reading this hilarious confessional It should have been embarrassing but I couldn t stop either the reading or the laughing This won t be a one night stand for me I love Chelsea

    21. This book would make anyone laugh out loud Or maybe not Just do me a favor and if you don t like it, don t tell me or I will lose all respect for you.

    22. I really, really got a kick out of this book If anyone was going to read a book by Handler I would definitely say to read this instead of Are You There God, It s Me Chelsea This is especially true for anyone wanting to read her books who doesn t already know her and or doesn t watch her t.v show I had never heard her or watched her before and only was interested because I heard she was pretty funny My Horizontal Life showed her sense of humor far better in my opinion There are quite a few less p [...]

    23. I can t believe how much I disliked this I can t believe how much disgust I felt towards Chelsea and literally every other person in the book I m all for sexual liberty and feminism, don t get me wrong And one night stands are certainly nothing bad But what Handler was talking about wasn t a healthy relationship towards any of these things She was often deceptive and a straight up compulsive liar with the people she ended up being intimate with for no apparent reason what so ever Reading this wa [...]

    24. In this collection of random one night stands, Chealsea Handler is sarcastic, hilarious, intelligent and witty Oh, yeah, she s also a slut This book is as easy as Chelsea to read, with each one night stand comprising a chapter, so it s great for put it down pick it up readers who can take either a day or a year to finish this collection of stories Important to note this is not eroticae comedian writes on the humorous circumstances and events around the hookup, not the actual sex.

    25. I read this book on the plane to Orlando and read her latest book Are you there Vodka It s me, Chelsea on plane ride back It was an easy, hilarious read Chelsea Handler is ruthless and crass but I love her This book is a tell all about her numerous hookups and relationships Some of the stories make you cringe but her shamlessness is also refreshing.

    26. I don t like that according to that 5 stars means the book was amazing because I wouldn t go as far as to say this book was amazing but it was definitely hilarious and laugh out loud funny That s 5 stars in my book.

    27. This woman is a horrible human being This book is her boasting about what a complete horror of a human being she is.

    28. The stories are not as absorbing and the punchlines not as funny as you ll find in many other comedic memoirs And yet this book sorta works The key, I think, is that Handler is completely credible, meaning we never doubt that she once pretended to be her identical twin to avoid an awkward conversation with a former lover, meaning we never doubt that she once tossed her skid marked panties out her lover s window and lied about it when the man s dog brought the panties back inside, etc.

    29. Candid, shocking, hilarious, crass, sometimes gross, sarcastic and somehow still charming, that s Chelsea for you Since I ve been watching her late night show on E for over a hear and a half now I wasn t as stunned as an average reader might be but the book was still a handful, easy to read but with many holy moly moments through in, some parts had me laughing so loud that I thought something would burst in my body, her comedic spirit is her own, she s not pretending to be funny, it s simply par [...]

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